Alex: We're starting to make mistakes in front of Mom. I think she might be starting to notice that something's up. I'm pretty sure it's only a matter of time before we'll have to come out to her as Plural.
Syl: Perhaps it would be better to do so sooner, on our own terms.
Alex: She noticed us "spacing out" while Syl and I were discussing something internally. She's seen artwork that Rain (Syl's in-system partner) helped us create of ourselves gaming together. She might've gotten a glimpse of our written in-system discussions, but I don't know if she would've recognized them as such. We've had to stop ourselves from referring to system mates by name / as fellow beings in our head and rephrase things like "who's currently fronting" as "my mood" or call Miyah (a syskid) "my inner child".
Yesterday was the worst mistake so far. Mom and I had gone to look at frames for my new glasses, which took extra time because Syl, Josie, and I have different preferences. Syl favors silver and green, he and I lean more toward black, and Josie and I want more color, especially purple and maybe blue. Syl (an azli man) and I (a genderfluid person) want to avoid anything too feminine so people will be less likely to misgender us, which frustrates the hell out of Josie (who is evofem). Eventually we narrowed it down to 2 possibilities, got a price estimate, did some food shopping, and came home. Syl was fully co-fronting with me and interacting with Mom at least as much as I was (though we didn't let her know that).
The mistake happened after we got home. Mom and I were trying to determine how many dumplings to make for ourselves and my outer world partner, Astral. She suggested a multiple of 3, but I said we needed more to accommodate 4 people. When she stared at me in confusion I asked "well what about Astral? She makes 4 people." "I'm already accounting for Astral." "No you're not. There are 3 of us and then Astral makes 4." "There's you, me, and Astral. That's 3 people!" I blinked a few times, then realized she was right. I was counting Syl as a separate person - which he is, but he doesn't have his own body with which to eat dumplings.
Syl: You could've made another serving for me to enjoy while fronting with our shared body.
Alex: That would've been even more suspicious. They would've gotten cold. And you were still able to enjoy them - right?
Syl: Yes, of course.
Josie: What about me? I want dumplings! ... And what about everyone else?
Alex: I'm usually only actively aware of Syl's presence - especially when interacting with outer world people - and it's awkward enough that I added 1 to the equation.
Mom and I have been making a lot of plans with my outer world bestie and their mom, so I used that as an excuse. But adding Astral to such plans (she usually chooses to sit them out) would've brought us up to 5 people (bodies), not 4. So I'm not entirely sure Mom bought it. But she didn't say anything. She has yet to confront me on any of this.
Josie: See? Including me would've been less suspicious.
Alex: I really have no idea how to try and talk to Mom about it. Above all, I don't want her to worry. There have been some ups and downs but ultimately finding my sysmates and working with them more intentionally has been a good thing. Maybe there are more "socially acceptable" ways to explain / experience the same processes, but this is what works for us.
